This perfectly describes my life right now. Uninspired . So much so that even writing this post is putting a strain on my poor brain. Literally every single thing about my life right now feels bland. Like if you were to put 20 unsalted crackers in your mouth, that's how I feel. Overwhelmed by how underwhelming my life feels. And I know, there are a billion things I could be doing to change this and work towards that inspiration once again, but here's the thing about not feeling inspired...it also makes you incredible UNMOTIVATED.
This post feels like a struggle. I feel as if no one wants to hear this, but at the same time if I don't spill my guts out somewhere then I literally could lose my mind. This is something I've had to deal with before, winter usually brings it on because I can't get out and hike & explore or just be outside because the weather was (in past years) too damn cold, and now the weather is just another additional factor in my overall lack of inspiration (constant grey drizzle will do that to ya). I'm doing the best I can to keep myself on track but to be completely honest it's all just becoming too much. Bland is not how you want your life to be, or at least I don't. I'm not content spending hours on the couch unless I feel like they're deserved (or I'm battling the flu). I want to spend my time exploring and seeing things that excite me. I want to be meeting new people regularly (not once every 18 months). I want my life to be a reason for people to be excited for me, and not for them to feel bad for me because I'm so upset about things. I want to be excited again. I need to feel that way again, and quickly because this is no way for a life to be lived (if you can even call it living).
I'm not a believer in all that "New Year, Clean slate" stuff. I think New Years Eve is bogus, and you should be spending life like every day is a countdown. Appreciating all those in your life near & far as much as possible, and being grateful for everything you have and have worked towards all the time instead of 10 silly seconds 1 night o the year that most people wont remember. And after the seriously sucky 2016 I had, it just feels like 2017 has picked up right where last year left off and I can't seem to catch a break. Each time I think I've got it figure out and I'm coming over the hill I hit a serious road bump that throws me wayyyy back. And the more road bumps I encounter the more it seems everyone else around me is getting things they want in spades. Sure it feels like that because I'm not getting that and no one really knows what's behind it all, but I'm sure there are a lot of you out there you have felt the same way when you're down.
I'm not looking for sympathy or a whole bunch of "poor girl" responses. This is just me breaking it down for you. That while my Instagram and Social Media might be chock-full of vibrant adventures & places it's not always that way. (It's why there's been a lack of blog posts or any posts really ) That's just my way of trying to kick this feeling & get back to a life I'm excited and inspired by again.